Thursday, December 29, 2011

Things I Learned In 2011 (New Year's 2012 Part I)

The end of the calendar year is often a time we reflect on the year that's coming to an end and look at how we want to change in the next year. I'm going to write a 2-part blog post about what I learned in 2011 and what I want to change in 2012. This year was one of the most difficult I've ever had- my relationship of 5 years with my daughter's father broke apart, I moved in with my parents (one of whom was cause of CSA, the other didn't believe it), my daughter had surgery and a subsequent ER visit which was pretty scary, I entered the dating world and had some tough experiences there, and a few other reasons. However, it has also been a good year in that I decided to go back to counseling, I got my own place :) and even though it's small it's mine (and my daughter's), and I have made some wonderful friends.

In 2011, I learned:

  • That I've been allowing myself to be a victim rather than stretching my limits to become a survivor.
  • That it's possible to electrocute yourself while changing a light bulb.
  • That often, you have to take a step into the scary unknown in order to grow.
  • That it is OK to speak up for myself, that I should have a voice.
  • That I don't value myself, my body, or the things I have to offer...but I want to.
  • That a five-year-old says just as many, if not more, completely hysterical things as a four-year-old.
  • That going out of my comfort zone to make some new friends (and become better friends with people I've known for years) was one of the best things I could have done for myself.
  • That I am capable of standing on my own two feet and living on my own- no parents, no roommate, no boyfriend, no help- just me.
  • That I have marketable skills that can be freelanced for extra income.
  • That the prep you have to experience before a colonoscopy really is as bad as everyone says.
  • That I am scared of feeling emotions.
  • That I have a lot of pent up anger.
  • That I want to do some of the hard work it will take to get where I want to go.
...and probably a few more things I might add as I think of them :)

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