Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Believing in Me

I have been thinking lately a lot about my self esteem. About why it's so shot, about how it's negatively affecting my life and the choices I make, about how to fix it. I came across this quote:
"Rebuilding our self-esteem can be a difficult and long journey. As difficult as reclaiming ourselves may be, we must remember that we are worth it. We deserve to feel secure about what we need and want out of life and others. We deserve to stand up for ourselves. No matter what others do or say, we deserve to have a voice and feel empowered."
(From "Low Self Esteem and Relationships: How to Reclaim Yourself" on Pandy's -also linked on the Resources tab.)
Unfortunately, I have been letting others' words really affect how I feel about me lately. Also unfortunately, there's been plenty of opportunity for me to be hurt by others' words lately- people I care about have been downright mean. But I have been trying to remind myself that I am worth reclaiming myself- I deserve to have a voice, I don't deserve to let other people make me feel like crap about me.

A smart person once told me "You don't need them to be you." I have been trying to remember this as I let go of people who are bringing more hurt or negativity to my life than positivity. Because I don't need that, and shouldn't have to deal with it, and it's ok to let those people go and give them a second-place spot- because I really don't need them to be myself, and myself is a pretty good person. A person who deserves to be happy and work past the pain and not be hindered by people who clearly don't have my best interests at heart.

And as for the people who do truly care, who do have my best interests at heart...those people are the ones who will be there in the end when I can smile and say that I've come a long way and am finally happy, healed, comfortable in my own skin.