Monday, October 7, 2013

Frustrated!

I am just so frustrated with parts of my current living situation! I love, love, love my job and it IS a great professional job with good benefits and above-average pay. However, I am having a hard time making ends meet. The BF (with whom I recently moved in, with each of our daughters) is very positive and has been working extra hours and such, and has offered to watch my daughter if I wanted to start a second job to earn more income. But the fact that I am seeing people, other single parents, who have so much disposable income, in part because they are being unfair to their exes in terms of child support or other reasons, after I worked SO hard for my education and my job has been really, really frustrating. I realize that I'm being silly and jealous and childish. But I have worked SO, so, so hard to get where I am and it's still not good enough! When will I be good enough? When I have yet another degree? A second job? A prettier face? A better figure? I am just so irritable and angry lately and I don't know how to fix things and I am tired, so tired. I am hoping to be able to post an update this week.

2 comments:

  1. Hello,

    I just wanted to say that I appreciate your blog very much - I, too, am a survivor of rape. I am also an activist. Please check out my personal blog about the movement I am attempting to create in hope to get men more involved with being the solution - instead of the problem.

    My blog: htttp://janishillard.blogspot.com

    Also check out my YouTube video about my project:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfST-g2J0Mw

    Much love,
    Janis

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, I follow your blog too and I am so sorry you feel this frustrated. I know how hard it can be to see others seem to be better off in so many ways. All I know is that I am trying to honor my struggle as a survivor and in my own little world, unknown to so many people, I am being courageous and slowly healing, through the love and support of good people. I have no job, no prestige, no status except of mother and wife these days. But I am a human being who knows the depths of despair and pain and misery and anguish and I am still here and one day I will contribute back to society. Meanwhile, I try to congratulate myself on each small thing I do. They are nothing compared to what I expected to 'achieve' in life but I am like a climber of Everest that the world does not acknowledge...and so I think of you. You are doing so much, and to have a partner and a child and a job is stunning and in time as you heal further, other opportunities will open up. To be a loving and healed human being is a great aspiration

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment or share an experience or resource: